Th th th Jokes - page 301

alien swapz

There was an alien man and a human man talking on a porch one day. They were talking about whos wife is better in bed. They eventually decide to switch girlfriends for one night. The alien took the human girl into his room and pulled off his pants. He was like 2 inches long. “I dont think this will work out” she said. So he smiles and pulls on his ear. It grows longer. The alien keeps doin this untill…

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I had a dream

This joke was originally created by my industrial arts teacher: One night I was working on a car. I was tired so I had a dream that I was a muffler. When I woke up, I was exhausted.

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Rejected

One night as a couple lay down for bed, the husband taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, “Honey, I’m sorry. I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to go to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again… This time he whispers in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment…

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Chuck’s Nuts

A man walked into a bar with a duck under his arm,and the bartender said”Sorry Sir, no pets allowed.” The man replied”But this is a special duck, this is Chuck the Duck” The bartender was puzzled”why is this duck so special?” The man asked if the bartender had a match,the bartender handed the man a match. The man lit the match and placed it under Chuck’s right wing, and Chuck started singing “Jingle Bells”. The man asked for another match,…

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Racing

Q. If 2 queers and 2 lesbians got in a race who would win?? A. The lesbians because they’re done licky split while the queers are still packing their shit.

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3 Hells Angels and a Straightforward Nun

Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a nun who takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one Hell’s Angel says, “I went to my parents’ wedding last week and we all got shit-faced.” The nun continues to eat even though she obviously has heard the exchange. Being quick on the uptake, the second one says, “My dad says he will marry my mother next year.” Despite this,…

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America’s Recreational Preferences

After a two year study, the National Science Foundation has announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences: 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. 3. The sport of choice for blue-collar line workers is football. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is…

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