Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
At the beginning of the children’s sermon, one little girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children are sitting down around the pastor, the pastor leans over and says to the little girl, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The girl replies almost directly into the pastor’s clip-on mike, “Yes…and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”
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The other day I read that a man was arrested for animal necrofelia. How do you plead in that case? “Gee your honor, I didn’t know the cat was dead when I was fucking him.”
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A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one particular drummer. He had talked and talked and talked with this drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.” A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle even…
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After many years, a young Talmud student who had left the old country for America, returns to visit his family. “But, where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him. “Mama,” he replies, “in American, nobody wears a beard.” “But at least you keep the Sabbath?” Mama asks. “Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.” “But kosher food, you still eat?” asks Mama. “Mama, in American, it is very difficult to keep kosher.” The old…
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Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100.” The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece…
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Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Patti, called the insurance company. Patti spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa, there, just a minute! Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.” There was a long pause, and then Patti replied, “If…
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what do you call a blonde with two brain cells? ans: pregnant!
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Once upon a time, two brooms fell in love and decided to get married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom informed the groom broom that she was expecting a little whisk-broom. The groom broom was aghast! “How is this possible?” he asked. “We’ve never swept together!”
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad”…. “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad….” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!!” Five minutes later… “Daaa-aaaad”… “WHAT??!!” “When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”
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