Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, “Is something bothering you? You look anxious.” “Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market,” Jill explained. “Oh, that’s too bad,” Linda sympathized. “I’m sure you’re feeling sorry for him.” “Yeah, I am,” Jill admitted. “He’ll miss me.”
(0)
Loading...
When old Mr. O’Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O’Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. “Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald,” she confided, “and he’d never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they’re through paying their last…
(1)Loading...
A Colonel, a General, and an Admiral were discussing which military branch had the most balls. The Colonel took the General and Admiral to one of his Air Force bases and told one of the airmen there to jump from a flying plane at 30,000 feet. With a quick salute, the airman did as he was told. He went up in the plane and jumped without a parachute at 30,000 feet and splattered all over the place. The Colonel said…
(1)Loading...
Mailman John walks down the street. It is is last day on the job. The first door he comes to, the people hand him fruit and flowers and said that they appreciated his work. The next door he comes to the people give him home-baked chocolate chip cookies and said the same thing. Then the next door he comes to, a beautiful blonde answers the door and says “come in”. He comes in and they do it, and they come…
(2)Loading...
A transcript from the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute: Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press…
(0)Loading...
A well-dressed matron swathed in a beautiful leopard fur coat was accosted by a screaming animal activist who yelled, “And what poor creature had to die so you could have that fur coat??” The woman replied, “My aunt in Cleveland.”
(0)Loading...
General Mark W. Clark, noted for his service during World War II in Europe, Africa and the Far East, was once asked what was the best advice he had ever been given. “To marry the girl I did,” he replied. “And who gave you that advice?” was the next question. “She did,” said the general.
(0)Loading...
A young man had seriously dated three girls and was finally faced with the dilemma of which to marry. As a test he gave each of them one thousand dollars. The first girl went for a complete hair and face makeover, new clothes, and new shoes. She returned to show off her new look saying, “I want to be at my most beautiful for you. Why? Because I love you dear!” The second girl returned with new hockey and golf…
(0)Loading...
1 – My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is. 2 – The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3 – I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4 – I have to exercise early in the morning before my…
(0)Loading...
There were these two guys in a bar, and after they had gotten drunk and after a few hours of being there, one of them saw a very attractive girl walk in. He asks the other guy, “Why don’t you ask her to dance?” So he went and asked her to dance, and she said, “No, I’m concentrating on matrimony and I’d rather sit than dance.” The guy comes back, depressed, so his fried asked, “What happened, did she say…
(0)Loading...