Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
When a football team loses, they should at least lose uniquely… The Packers have been boxed up. The Steelers were smelted. The Redskins were thrown off the reservation. The Cowboys got scalped. The Jaguars were poached. The Seahawks got plucked. The Broncos were sent to the glue factory. The Giants fell off the beanstalk. The Dolphins got caught in the tuna net. and finally… The Jets crashed.
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And remember that it’s ALL COMPLETELY TRUE… ************************************* Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.…
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Jim, who is 17, normally goes out and is home by 11:00 but one night 11:00 passes and Jimmy is not home yet. His father gets really worried and waits outside the house for him. 12:00 passes, 1:00, finally at 2:00 Jimmy gets home. His father, who is furious by this time, asks him why he is late. Jimmy replies, “Dad, I had my first sexual experience today!” His dad is all excited and proud. He puts his arm around…
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This man walks into his psychiatrists office, and the psychiatrist has an ink blot test prepared for him today. When the psychiatrist tells the man, he takes out the ink blotted cards, and shows the first one to his patient. The psychiatrist says, “What do you see in this picture?” And the patient replies without even thinking about it, “I see sex.” The psychiatrist becomes surprised, and pulls out the next one. “What do you see in this ink blot,…
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I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…
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1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…
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1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communication. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.…
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There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and “whip Clarence’s butt.” He left…
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Once there were three girls on a deserted island. There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. Acorrding to their calculations, they were only 20 miles away from mainland. The brunette said, “I can swim pretty far. I am going to try to get to the mainland”. So she gets in the water. She swims 5 miles and gets tired and drowns. The red head gets in the water and tries the same thing. 5 miles, 10 miles,…
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The class was playing a spelling game when the teacher asked for a word beginning with ‘A’. Johnny shot his arm into the air and blurted out ‘Asshole’. The teacher warned Johnny not to use such language again. She then asked for a word starting with ‘B’. Again Johnny shocked the class as he exclaimed ‘Bastard, miss.’ The teacher suitably repremanded Johnny and continued on. She decided to skip ‘C’ as she could imagine what Johnny would say. ‘D’ was…
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