Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man named John was walking down the street. Some time later he met his friend, Peter. “Hello, Peter.” John said, “I was just going to the market to buy some cabbage for supper. Would you like to come along?” Peter nodded. The two men walked along for about fifteen minutes, when John spoke up, “Phew! Something stinks! Peter, did you shit your pants today?” Peter shook his head. They were passing the movie theatre now and John’s eyes were…
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Just a line to say I’m living, That I’m not among the dead, Though I’m getting more forgetful And all mixed up inside my head. I got used to my arthritis, To my dentures, I’m resigned. I can manage my bifocals But, Dear God, I miss my mind. Sometimes I can’t remember When I’m at the foot of stairs If I must go up for something Or if I’ve just come down from there. And before the fridge so often,…
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!) She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY…
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1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…
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One day Jesus and Moses are out golfing. Jesus is of course winning and starts to think highly of himself. They get to the top of this one hill on the tenth hole, and Jesus pulls out a five iron, when he should have clearly pulled out a nine iron. Moses walks up to him and says, “Are you crazy, you should be using a nine iron, not that five iron”. “Arnold Palmer would use this five iron”, Jesus replied.…
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Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…
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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am…
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Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…
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Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.…
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