Tea time Jokes - page 24

Advantages of Breast Feeding

Michael, a pre-med student, preferred partying to studying and was not totally prepared for his mid-term exams. He stared at the last question worth 50%: NAME FOUR ADVANTAGES OF BREAST FEEDING 1. No need to buy formula. 2. Cats can’t steal it. 3. Available on demand. He was running out of time and need another advantage. Suddenly it hit him. 4. Comes in attractive containers.

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You Know You’re Getting Older When…

You and your teeth don’t sleep together. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you’re not eating cereal. Your back goes out but you stay home. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. When happy hour…

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Little Johnny’s Defense

Wednesday morning, Little Johnny comes into class late. The teacher called him to her desk and said, “Johnny, This is the third time you’ve been tardy this week.” Thinking of a punishment she says, “I want you to make a sentence out of these three words: defense, deduct, and detail.” So at recess Johnny comes back into the room and tells her that he’s done. He recites it to her: “De head of de duck goes over de fence before…

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You Know Your Getting Older When…

1. You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions. 2. You get winded playing checkers. 3. You need a fire permit to light all of the birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out. 4. You order Geritol on the rocks. 5. You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there. 6. You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again. 7. You don’t need an alarm clock to get up…

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Barbie And Ken’s Letters To Santa

Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…

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