Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Hillary wanted to add some color to the White House. She decided to look at tropical birds for reasons known only to her. While shopping for the bird, she visited a local pet store which was known for its collection of tropical birds. As she was viewing the collection, she noted a vast difference in prices. “Why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?” she asked. “Well, ma’am,” the manager told her, “not everyone would want…
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The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…
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In the 1960s, pianist LIBERACE would travel the USA, performing one-man concerts, to sell-out crowds. During one particular tour, after playing all his planned selections and taking curtain call after curtain call (to thunderous applause), he held up his hands to quiet the masses (as was his custom) and said to the audience, “Is there anything SPECIAL you would like me to perform?” A disgruntled taxpayer in the crowd shouted out, “How about our MAYOR’S AUTOPSY?”
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Dan Quayle: “potatoe” A Massachusetts politician was accused of attacking and cursing another politician during a local meeting. The first politician was quoted in the local paper, “I did not attack anyone or say a single cuss word, and anyone who says I did is a damn liar.” Bill Clinton in 1992: “I will have the most ethical administration in the nation’s history.” Romanian minister on homosexuality: “We can’t legalize homosexuality. Half of the country will become homosexuals.” Bill Clinton…
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And remember that it’s ALL COMPLETELY TRUE… ************************************* Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.…
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A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…
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An elderly couple goes for their annual physical. The man is checked out first and the Dr. replies, “Mr. Smith you’re in remarkable health for a man your age.” “I’m not surprised,” answers Mr. Smith, “I’ve got the Lord on my side.” “How do you mean,” asks the doc, beginning to wonder about senility. “Well just last night,” begins the old guy, “I had to pee in the middle of the night and the Lord turned on the bathroom light…
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My father was in the fertilised egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilise the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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God’s Human DNA Code For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism’s DNA seems to serve any useful function. I have solved the mystery. The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments. Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows: ===/* HUMAN_DNA.H * * Human Genome * Version 2.1 * * (C)…
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