Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jake and Saul are two old widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on one another. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Saul opens the morning paper and turns to the “Obits” page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier was in preparation for this event. He correctly…
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True Story. When Courtney was 2 1/2, her dad took her with him to Sears. Dad was busy talking with a salesman about a new hot water heater. Of course, he was paying more attention to the salesman than to his daughter, who kept interrupting him. “Just a minute, Courtney, he told her.” Suddenly, Dad heard a toilet lid close, and it dawned on him just what Courtney had been saying! He quickly ended his conversation with the salesman before…
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Here’s the background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. (The University of New Hampshire, for those not from the East Coast of the U.S.) Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Ian, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a…
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A man walks into a Chinese shop, looking at all of the curious, exotic things in there. He sees a brass rat sitting on a shelf, and asks the shop keeper how much it is. The shop keeper says, “Ten dollars for rat, one thousand dollars for story about rat”. The man replies, “Well, here’s ten bucks for the rat, keep your dumb story”. “You’ll be back!”, the shop keeper said with a knowing, evil laugh. The man left the…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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True story. Some years ago, we had been getting lots of wrong numbers late at night for this particular bar whose number was similar to ours. After being rudely awakened from a sound sleep for the third time that night, my husband got up yet once again to answer the phone. “Hello.” “No, Betty is not here. She just left with Joe about 10 minutes ago!!!” Click.
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Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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A golfer was taken to the police station for questioning. “Mr. Smith, I am Detective O’Reilly. Would you mind telling me what happened out there?” “We were on the 1st hole. Dorothy went up to the women’s tee while I prepared to hit. I carefully gauged my swing and let one rip. It was a beautiful low liner but it had a slight hook. It struck Dorothy smack dab in the back of her head. I took off running but…
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An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.” A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and…
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