Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An architect, a painter and a lawyer were all sitting in a bar arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The architect says, “My dog has to be the smartest. Watch… go to it Spot.” The dog then proceeds to design and build a perfect replica of the Eiffel Tower. “Good Boy, Spot!” the architect tells his dog, and hands him a cookie. “That’s nothing,” scoffs the painter. “Watch this… Hit it Rover.” Rover then makes and exact replica of…
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Long ago, when the Irish Sweepstakes was the big lottery game in the U.S., a Jewish gentleman won the sweepstakes and was overwhelmed, not so much with the amount of the winnings, but with the taxes he would have to pay. So this gentleman, named Morrie, went to his tax advisor and was told the best thing he could do would be to go to Ireland, live there for a year, establish residence and collect the entire sum, tax-free. Morrie…
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Your mama so stupid she had a peephole put in a glass door.
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1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren’t necessary…
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A young mother was once again pregnant and trying to explain to her little girl how she had gotten that way. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took an egg and a sperm. Daddy made the sperm, and Mommy made the egg. The little girl asks, “So if it takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby, and the egg is already in your tummy, then how does the sperm get…
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Sign on an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.” Sign in a nonsmoking area: “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.” Sign on a fence: “All salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”
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While Debbie is having last-minute discussions with the caterer for her wedding reception, she takes her mother aside and asks her to buy a long lacy black negligee, and to pack it carefully in her suitcase for the honeymoon trip to follow. Unfortunately, Mom has so many other arrangements to take care of that she forgets Debbie’s specific requests, buys a short pink nightie, and throws it into the suitcase. Because Debbie and her bridegroom Donald have not been intimate,…
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One day this guy is sitting on a park bench eating a bald eagle. A cop comes by and says..”Hey fella…What do you think you are doing? That is an endangered species! You can’t kill it and eat it!” The cop arrests him and takes him to jail… The next day he goes to court and the judge says, “Sir, do you realize that a bald eagle is an endangered species and you can spend up to 5 years in…
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In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a nearly impossible task. Some folks are called Analysts. Some are called Programmers. Some are called Engineers. None of them has window offices. A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six of these positions . . . usually all at the same time. 10. Programmer: This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field. Manages no one. Answers to everyone. Approximately 50% of…
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Did you hear that the Melissa virus has mutated? Now it sucks all the memory out, and it only attacks laptops. The new name is the Monica virus.
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