Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash…
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark…
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The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times! ——————- Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are…
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A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers-to-be, are pacing nervously in the Maternity Ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby. “Is it yours?” she asks the Italian. “Certainly not,” he retorts. “Yours?” she asks the Pole, who vigorously denies paternity. “How about you?” she asks the Jew. “Maybe,” he says, glumly. “My wife burns everything.”
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A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart “associate” standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me, sir…can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from…
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A teacher is giving a spelling bee. She asks little John to spell the word, “Before.” “Um…Before: b-e-e-f-o-r,” he replies, erroneously. The teacher then calls on Suzy. “Before: b-e-p-h-o-r.” Again, she too is wrong, and the teacher calls on little Leroy. “Before: b-e-f-o-r-e,” gloats the little boy. Very good, Leroy! Now can you use the word in a sentence?” “Yeah. Before: Two and two be fore.”
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In a small Southern town, there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed the great skill and talent which had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me, however. The three wise men were all wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You darn Yankees…
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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the…
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An elderly woman went to Chicago representing her small church delegation at a religious conference. After checking into the hotel, she entered the elevator to go to her room. When she looked up, she noticed that there were two incredibly large black men in the elevator next to another mid-size black man. Being from a small town and having never been to the big city, the woman was terrified. As the elevator door closed and the woman turned around one…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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