She s all that Jokes - page 69

Jew or Jewish

One day a teacher asked her class to think of a sentence that had either the word Jew or Jewish in it. One little girl raised her hand and after being called upon replied “Hannukah is a Jewish holiday.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.” A little boy in the corner raised his hand and announced “Jesus was a Jew.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.”…

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Blondes’ Revenge

Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here’s what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free … if she follows you everywhere you go, she pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.…

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Golf

A lady and a friend were playing golf at a resort. The lady hits her golfball and a little while after hears a scream. She runs towards the scream and finds a man lying on the floor, holding his crutch. The woman exclaims, “oh my, I’m so sorry, please, i am a physiotherapist, let me massage it and it will feel better.” The man replies that it is fine. The women insists and sticks her hands down his pants and…

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Waiting at the Pearly Gates

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter reviews the Big Book to see if the man?s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, ?I?m sorry, I don?t see your name written in the Big Book.? ?How current is your copy?? asks the man. ?I get a download every ten minutes,? St. Peter replies, ?Why do you ask?? ?I?m embarrassed to admit it, but…

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Why did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…

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Lil’ Johnny’s Thanksgiving

Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…

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The Magical frog

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The…

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Kids’ Real Answers About Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…

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God Created Woman…

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden Of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me. You have surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well, Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you.” “What’s a woman, Lord?” “This woman will…

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Yo Mama

* Your mama so skinny her nipples touch. * Your Mama feet so big she went into a shoe store and asked for a size eleven box. * Your Mama so fat when she ran away from home they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

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