Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man asks Jack, the produce manager of a local supermarket, for half a cabbage. “Half a cabbage?” says Jack. “Why don’t you buy a whole cabbage?” “I live alone. I don’t need a whole cabbage.” “All right, Sir,” says Jack, “I’ll be right back”,and he takes a cabbage through the swinging doors to the meat department. “Max,” he says to the butcher, not realizing the customer has followed him through the doors, “cut this in half. Some asshole wants…
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Michael!” Then, the…
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In an attempt to flee the hard life in their homeland, a group of twenty Cubans secretly left Cuba on a small boat and set sail for Miami. Along the way, the oldest Cuban suffered a serious heart attack. As he lay gasping for breath, the old man made this request to his fellow Cubans, “Please, my friends, I wish to hold in my hands the flag of my beloved Cuba and kiss it before I breathe my last.” So…
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A man and his wife always loved to go on the helicopter rides at the carnival, but they didn’t like the $10.00 per ride. So the man started negotiating with the pilot. Finally, the pilot agreed to let them fly for free ONLY if they could last the entire flight without making a single sound. So the helicopter took off. The pilot tried swerving and sudden stops, even 360 spins, but the whole time, he didn’t hear a peep out…
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Your momma’s so fat that instead of perfume she uses room deodorizer! Your momma’s so fat that she stepped on a dog’s tail and now we call him “Beaver”!
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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when the bride…
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An inter-office softball game was held every year between the Marketing and Support Staff of one company. The Support Staff whipped the Marketing Department soundly. To show just “how” the Marketing Department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: “The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 1999 Softball Season, we finished in 2nd place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season,…
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One day the teacher is explaining to her class about morals. She tells them about how her grandfather would raise chickens and that each morning, he would go out, gather the eggs, put them into cartons and carry them to the supermarket to sale. One day he ran out of cartons, so he put all his eggs into a basket, put the basket onto the back of his truck, and headed into town. Along the way, he hit a pothole,…
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A 5-year old girl came into the kitchen, where her Grandpa was, sat down in a chair, and started staring at him. Her Grandpa was reading the paper and finally realized that she was staring at him and he asked, ” Why are you staring at me, sweetie?” She answered, ” Well, I’m waiting for you to turn into a frog!” “So why do you think I’m going to turn into a frog?” inquired Grandpa. The little girl answered with…
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A student comes to a young professor’s office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels in front of him, looks up into his eyes, pleadingly, and says, “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers in her low, sexy voice, ” … I would do…*ANYTHING*!!!” He returns her gaze. “Anything?” “Yes … Anything!!!” His voice turns into a sexy…
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