Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!) She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY…
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There was a young priest and an old priest, and one day the old priest ask the young priest over for dinner. The old priest had a beautiful young housekeeper and the young priest kept asking the old priest if he had ever slept with her. The old priest said that he had never, and would never, sleep with her. The next day, the housekeeper noticed that a very expensive gravy ladle was missing. She assumed that the young priest…
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Hillary Rodham Clinton, role model for women who scare their husbands into cheating everywhere, has decided to have a trial separation from hubby Bill. She reportedly said that she has enough embarassment from living through a year long scandal, woman after woman, a rape charge, and having to watch Bill run to McDonalds in those really tight shorts. Hillary decided to separate herself from Bill, after trying for 17 years to separate him from evey other woman in Arkansas. She…
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President Bush was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead and a brunette. To the blonde, he said, “I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?” The blonde replied, “For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500.00.” To the redhead he asked the same question. She replied, “I will spend all the time you…
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So this little, tiny guy walks into his doctor’s office screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!!” The doctor says, “I have to deal with this other patient first and then I’ll get to you.” The little guy screams, “But doctor!! I’m SHRINKING!!” Exasperated, the doctor says, “Well I’m sorry, you’ll just have to be a little patient!”
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Isn’t it amazing just how sophisticated computers are becoming? Just the other day, I was looking at the newest ones at COMP USA. I saw one which REALLY caught my eye. Instead of an Owner’s Manual, the operating instructions consisted of a SINGLE sheet of paper, printed on only ONE side. The sheet read, “If you have trouble operating this computer in any way, please do the following: 1. Locate the nearest 12-year-old child. 2. LISTEN to what s/he says.
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Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation, saying, “This is marvelous. What enabled women here to achieve this wonderful reversal of roles?” The Kuwaiti woman replied, “Land mines.”
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Pilot to Co-pilot: We are approaching an airport with a notoriously short runway. When I give the commands, execute them immediately! Co-pilot: Roger. Pilot: Flaps full down Co-pilot: Roger. Flaps are full down. Pilot: Air speed 180. Co-pilot: Air speed 180. Pilot: Landing gear down. Co-pilot: Landing gear is down and locked. Pilot: As soon as we touch down, I want engines in full reverse and brakes on maximum. Co-pilot: Roger. They hit the runway with engines in full reverse,…
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This came out of the Des Moines Sunday Register…. Here is a little reminder on how important it is to type that e-mail address correctly. A Wisconsin businessman traveled to Louisiana on a business trip. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged his laptop into the hotel room port, and sent a short e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at her e-mail address:[email protected]. Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to: [email protected]. Jean…
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