Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife’s bedside table that said, “Wake me at six.” An exasperated Mr. Smith woke at ten the next morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: “It’s six, you bum! Get out of bed!”
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1. Every time someone calls for a price check, start gobbling like a turkey and run up and down the aisle you’re in until someone asks you what’s wrong. When this happens, walk away passively, cursing under your breath that people are so weird these days. 2. When greeted with a friendly “hello” from your bag-boy, reply, repeating loudly: “No, my name’s not Fred!” while spinning around violently for 30 seconds straight. Try to walk out of the store in…
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You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. “Down south” to you means Iowa. Snow tires came standard on your car. You have no concept of public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer. People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them. You know what and where Dinkytown is. You have no problem…
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One fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied. “I’m sorry,” said Bill. What happened to her? “My dog…
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Two Michigan robbers charged into a Detroit music store, waving their guns. “Nobody moves!” one of the robbers ordered. The second robber then moved – and the first shot him in the head. A Turkish farmer was taken to the hospital with severe stomach pains. The doctor then discovered that he had ingested pesticide. The Doctor however noticed that it was in too small an amount to be suicidal. So he asked the Farmer why he did so. The farmer…
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Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…
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My grandfather, who had lived his whole 90 years in Boston, was admitted to the hospital with a serious infection. The situation worsened, and the doctors were very concerned for his life. The hospital priest went in to give Pop communion and asked if he would like to pray for “something.” Pop hesitated for a moment, then said that being in the bed had given him time to think about the truly important things in life, and yes he would…
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi-stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: “Where…
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A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you,” she said politely.” “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must be rather difficult,” the man replied. “Oh, I don’t mind too much,” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”
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This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla’s enclosure, a gust of wind blew some grit into his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the hapless fellow senseless. When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk he explained what had happened. The zookeeper…
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