Ra ra ra Jokes - page 60

You know you’re addicted to the Internet when…

You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed. You name your children “Eudora,” “AOL” and “Dotcom”. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your CHILD in the overhead compartment. You decide to stay in college for…

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Read JokeYou know you’re addicted to the Internet when…

His and Her Directions

Have you ever wondered how the female mind works as compared to the male mind? Yes Male minds are simple. HER DIRECTIONS: 80….(SF)….just after the weight station near cordelia(i think) will be an exit for 14…Sonoma and Napa….take it…..follow it all the way thru…..till you end up in fairfield…there is a signal next to…a Beer joint i think it is….i don’t know…but you merge to the right which turns into a lil 2 lane freeway dealy….go thru the signal…go over…

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Read JokeHis and Her Directions

Heads Or Tails

The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of ‘yes/no’ type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.…

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Read JokeHeads Or Tails

Computer…Male or Female?

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes” or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion are the followings: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message…

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Read JokeComputer…Male or Female?

Boredom plus Wrong Number is Fun

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?” I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message?” “Do you know what time he’ll be back?” she responded. “I…

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A New Drug!

From time to time I speak with pharmaceutical sales reps. The other day a Glaxo rep told me of a drug her company has under development. This drug sounds so promising I want to suggest to my friends they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called “Gingko Viagra,” and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.

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Read JokeA New Drug!

Carburetor Maintenance

A young woman was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later, she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful…

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Read JokeCarburetor Maintenance

father and son, bonding?

One day dad decides to take his boy for a ride in the car, so they leave and as they are driving down the road, dad starts smoking a joint. The boy asks his father if he can have a hit and the dad asks, “Can your dick reach your ass?” and the boy says, “Well, no” and the dad says, “Alright then.” Little while later they stop in at a gas station and dad picks up a 6 pack…

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Read Jokefather and son, bonding?

Blonde newlywed

A week after their marriage, these newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor. “I can’t figure it out Doctor, my testicles are turning purple!?.” The doctor examined him and confirmed the unusual condition. He asked the wife (a blonde, of course), “Are you using the diaphragm I prescribed?” “Yes.” she replied. “And what kind of jelly are you using?” the doctor then asked. “Grape.” she said.

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Read JokeBlonde newlywed