Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…
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A farmer lived on a quiet, rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So he called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.” “What do you want me to do?” asked…
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It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the…
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One evening, Dr. Watson paid an unexpected call on Holmes. “Is he expecting you?” asked the housekeeper. “No,” said Watson, “but I just need to speak with him for a minute.” “I don’t know what he’s up to,” said the housekeeper, “but he left very strict instructions not to be disturbed until nine o’clock”. “I’ll wait downstairs in the library,” replied Watson. A few minutes later, Watson heard the unmistakable sound of girlish laughter coming from the detective’s bedroom, followed…
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The sky was dark The moon was high The wind did fade All alone, she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn’t know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her long…
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I was teaching my fifth-graders their weekly vocabulary lesson in reading class and was working on using the word, “afford,” properly. I called on a little boy named Michael, and I asked him what he thought the word, “afford” meant. He, very innocently, replied, “It’s a truck.”
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, And threw down his list, “Miserable little pricks, Ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind, To scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass, For damn near a year, Instead of ‘Thanks Santa,’ What do I hear? The old lady bitches, ‘Cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk, And goosed all the maids, Donner is…
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Do you know how to pass an elephant under the door? Put him in an envelope… What if it doesn’t fit? Take off the seal… How do you hide an elephant in an strawberry field? Paint his nails red… How do you make an elephant not pass by the door? Make a knot in his tail… How do you know that there is an elephant in the pool? There is a round pair of shoes beside the pool… How does…
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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing so, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer asks, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?” The trooper…
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A man went to his doctor for a check up. At the end of the appointment his doctor said, ” I have some good news and some bad news.” The man said, “What’s the bad news?” The doctor said, “You have 3 days to live.” Frantic, the man asked,” And what’s the good news?” The doctor replied, “You know the receptionist with the humongous tits? I’m f*cking her.”
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