Ra ra ra Jokes - page 54

Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…

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A married couple, trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle, went to this party. The conversation turned to Mozart. “Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!” The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, “Ah, Mozart. You’re so right. I love him. Only this morning, I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island.” There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, “We’re…

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A teacher was taking a station wagon full of nursery children to school when a firetruck zoomed past them. In the front seat of the fire truck was a dalmatian. The children then started to discuss what the dalmation was for. One girl said, “The firemen use the dalmatian to control the crowd of people at the fire scene.” “The dalmatian’s there for good luck,” another girl chimed in. “You’re both wrong!” said a little boy. “The firemen need the…

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A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called the head waiter to his table. “I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked, it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread;…

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At a rape trial, the young victim was asked by the D. A. what the defendant said just before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer. After reading the note, the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors. One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from…

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A couple decide to go to a Halloween party one year. So they dressed up as two cows and headed out for the party.. While on their way, the car broke down and they were stranded. As the man walked around the car kicking and cussing , He noticed the house they were going to was just accross the pasture. “Well,” said the man. “I guess we can walk through the pasture and be there in a minute or two…

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If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on…

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I remember the first time I entered a topless restaurant, back in the 1970s, in Colorado. I went in the place out of curiosity, and was fascinated by the beautiful young women walking around, waiting on the customers, and wearing no tops. I was awestruck! A pretty blonde with bright green eyes walked over to me and smiled. “Would you like something?” she purred. Unable to take my eyes off her chest, but needing exact change for the cigarette machine,…

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