Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One morning little Johnny comes walking down the stairs to find his breakfast not on the table. He looks over at his mother and says “Hey mom, where is my breakfast?” His mother looks at him and says “Well, you won’t get your breakfast until you finish your chores.” Johnny walks out of the house and heads down to the barn to do his chores. He goes in an gets the chicken feed and walks into the pens. All the…
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A businessman was flying over Chicago in his small airplane when suddenly the engine stopped. He reached behind the seat, grabbed his parachute and bailed out of the plane. On the way down to earth he met a woman wearing an apron going up. He shouted to her, “Hey lady, do you know anything about parachutes?” She replied, “No sir, do you know anything about gas stoves?”
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“Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle-of-the-night feedings?” “No. I always did that.” “That must have been before Women’s Liberation.” “No, it was before we had baby bottles.”
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The popular belief is that Heaven and Hell are one under the other. The actual layout is side by side, separated by a wooden fence. One afternoon on the etheral planes, a group of demons are playing football and manage to crash into the fence, demolishing a large part of it. God, anger in His eyes, roars over the fence to Satan, “Your little demons did this – therefore you must repair it!” “Fine,” says Satan. “I’ve got all the…
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A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with crap, crossed her path. “Oh, dear,” exclaimed the lady, “Come on, I’ll clean you!” She took a Kleenex from her purse and did a good cleaning. She walked on a little farther and another duck, with crap all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird. Then she encountered a third duck, with the…
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A couple goes back to their original honeymoon hotel for a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. After all the family festivities they retire to the original room they stayed in on their honeymoon night 50 years prior. The woman is done with her bathroom antics and her husband takes her place for his turn to get ready. The elderly man takes quite awhile in the bathroom, as is his norm, and his wife spends the time figuring out the…
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This old guy named Joe invested in Microsoft stock in the early eighties and just died a wealthy man. He had no family, so his business associates were at the reading of his will, where it was learned that the old man wanted to be buried with most of his money. His banker, pastor, and lawyer were each given envelopes with $500,000 cash with the instructions to deposit the money in the casket at the funeral. Three days later at…
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Once, there were three nuns who always did what the priest told them to do. One day, the priest said, “You three have been very good. You can each go out and do one bad thing.” So, the nuns left. After about one hour, the first nun came back. “I ran over a kids’ bike,” she said. “Your sins are forgiven. Go drink of the holy water,” the priest said. Then, another nun came back. “I beat up the kid,”…
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Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour? SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants. SL: It’s logical. He wants to have his way with us. SM: Oh, no! At this…
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A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional. The Doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?” “No,” said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.” “Wait,” said the engineer. “The world was…
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