Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In 1928 Colonel John Rotherhampton arrives in Central Africa to take over command of the King’s African Rifles from retiring Lt. Colonel Peter Defries. The retiring CO is very pleased to meet his successor and over a cup of tea at the regimental mess is most enthusiastic about the regiment’s adjutant, Captain Harry S Smithers. The old CO so extols the virtues and soldierly prowess of Capt. Smithers that the new CO decides that he must simply meet this man.…
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A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for a family reunion. “Not a single grandchild,” he said with a sigh. “Why, I’ll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let’s say grace.” . . . When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table .…
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Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! ——————————————————- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. ——————————————————- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. ——————————————————- Teacher: Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…
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One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell right on his twitchy, little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and couldn’t see.” “That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. To be sure, the snake said, “It was MY fault. I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind, too, and I didn’t see you coming. By…
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There’s something everyone should know: On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.
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A little guy was sitting next to a big guy in a bar and said, “Hey, wanna hear a good Polock joke?” The big guy frowned and answered, “I just happen to be Polish. You see those two big guys at that end of the bar? Polish. That mean lookin’ son-of-a-bitch bartender, he’s Polish too. Do you still want to tell your Polish joke?” The little guy looked around and said,”Nope.” “What’s the matter?” asked the big guy. “Are you…
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Little Jimmy was always a troublemaker in school, and he had been kicked out of every public school in town except one. His mother was exasperated with Jimmy, so she sent him to the last public school telling him if he didn’t behave he’d have to go to private school. Sure enough after one day, the principle called Jimmy’s mother and told her not to bring Jimmy back the next day for school. Jimmy’s mother decided to go ahead and…
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Bill Clinton and Al Gore are being flown by Bill Gates in his private plane. The plane crashes and all three are killed. The three ascend to heaven and are met by The Lord. God first asks Gore what he believes. Gore says, “I believe humankind has really messed up the bounteous and beautiful planet that You gave to them. They should be taught to care for it better.” God said he liked Gore’s answer and asked him to take…
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Snow White decides to take a shower and the dwarfs want to peek. They stand on each others shoulders and the guy on top is supposed to convey whats happening. He yells: “She’s taking off her dress”. On down you hear, she’s taking off her dress, she’s taking off her dress. He yells: “She’s taking off her panties”. On down it goes, she’s taking off her panties, she’s taking off her panties. He yells: “She’s taking off her bra”. On…
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