Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, Darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name of your former bank.’ After a slight hesitation, she put down, ‘Piggy.’
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Mike Tyson Virus quits after one byte The Ellen Degeneres Virus your IBM suddenly claims it’s a MAC Titanic Virus makes your whole computer go down Disney Virus everything in the computer goes Goofy Prozac Virus screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care Kevorkian Virus searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them Oprah Winfrey Virus your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB AT&T Virus every 3 minutes it…
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Two men held up a bank. They cleaned out the cash drawers and then herded the tellers and clerks into the vault. They were getting ready to make their getaway when one of the tellers whispered, “Hey, buddy, would you do me a favor?” One of the robbers said, “What’s on your mind, pal?” “Would you mind taking the books too?” the teller asked. “I’m five thousand dollars short.”
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“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…. and I also know that I’m not blonde.” -Dolly Parton- “You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” -Erica Jong- “I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that…
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Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Buffoon Street Little Rock, AR 72205 Dear Friend: We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising 5 million dollars for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the hall of fame in Washington, DC. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth,…
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At one time Dorothy Parker had a small, dingy cubbyhole of an office in the Metropolitan Opera House building in New York. As no one ever came to see her, she became depressed and lonely. When the signwriter came to paint her name on the office door, she persuaded him to write instead the word “GENTLEMEN.”
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My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth–that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally–but I didn’t want to upset him. I once heard the voice of God. It said “Vrrrrmmmmm.” (Unless it was just a lawn mower.) I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine…
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President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine at the White House. Worried about their table manners, the guests decided to do eveything that Coolidge did. This strategy succeeded for awhile, until coffee was served. The President poured his coffee in the saucer. The guests did the same. Coolidge added sugar and cream. So did his guests. Then Coolidge bent over and put his saucer on the floor for his cat.
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the…
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths and remove all doubt.
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