Pot Jokes - page 26

When it rains, it pours …

A man was sitting alone at the bar looking so sad and forlorn. He had a glass of beer in front of him but he did not touch the glass for more than half an hour. Just then a burly, mean biker approached the sad man, grabbed the glass and drank all the content. As the biker wiped off the beer suds from his mouth, the man began to cry. The biker laughed and said, “Hey, man, I was just…

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Captain Smithers

In 1928 Colonel John Rotherhampton arrives in Central Africa to take over command of the King’s African Rifles from retiring Lt. Colonel Peter Defries. The retiring CO is very pleased to meet his successor and over a cup of tea at the regimental mess is most enthusiastic about the regiment’s adjutant, Captain Harry S Smithers. The old CO so extols the virtues and soldierly prowess of Capt. Smithers that the new CO decides that he must simply meet this man.…

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The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…

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A one-track joke….

The engineer of a train passing through Poland could see no light because the power had been knocked out by a severe ice storm. “We’re running out of coal,” he said to his trainman, “but I think we’re coming to Gdansk or Danzig, whatever they call it now. Let’s stop and send the porter out to buy more fuel. Can you see a sign on the depot that says ‘Gdansk’ in this dim light?” “No”, replied the trainman, “it appears…

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Adios

Four guys are driving cross country together — one from Idaho, one from Iowa, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York. A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, “What the heck are you doing?” The man from Idaho says, “We have so many of these darned things in Idaho. I’m sick of…

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Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies…

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Beware of the Bull

Out for a walk one afternoon, I came upon a fence around this cow pasture. On this fence was a sign that stated, “Beware of the BULL.” Now I am not one to doubt the warnings on signs, but it did seem to be a shortcut across the pasture to where I wanted to go. I looked very carefully in every direction and no BULL did I see. Weighing the decision very carefully, it seemed that crossing this cow pasture…

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Papal Advice

A deeply religous and wealthy man visited the Vatican and was standing by the road when the Pope came by in the Popemobile. The Pope looks over to him, stops the car, gets out and walks directly towards him, filling the man with joyousness. However, as he reached him, the Pope steps to one side and whispers in the ear of a tramp sitting behind the man. Seeing this, the wealthy man is a bit miffed but an idea forms…

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From the BUTTS of Babes…….

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month…

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Read JokeFrom the BUTTS of Babes…….