Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…
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Q. Why was there only bread and wine at The Last Supper? A. It was a bunch of men and a potluck dinner.
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If Con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?…
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It has become pretty obvious to me that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I’m out driving around I’ll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I’ll even see a ram. Up the street from me there’s some twins, but I don’t see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions, or scorpions,…
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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be Today I sniffed Many dog behinds – I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush.…
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Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything but the toilet. So mom had to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and took Lil’ Johnny to the doctor. After the examination, the Dr. said, “Well, his unit is too small. An old wives’ tale was to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he…
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Q. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What’s six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It’s not hard. Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q: Who is the most…
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A hunter was out one day, crouched down for nearly an hour when he noticed this bear crawl by. So, without hesitation, he fired his shotgun at the bear. A cloud of dirt went up, but there was nothing there. Finally, he felt a tap on his sholder. It was the bear. “What are you doing? You can’t shoot me. Turn around and pull down your pants for some sweet lovin’ or I’m going to rip you to pieces.” The…
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A blonde dyed her hair jet black so that people would think she was smarter. It seemed to work. People treated her with more respect, and she even felt smarter. To celebrate, she took a drive in the country. She spotted a field full of sheep, and got out to take a look. She found the farmer and said, ” These things are so cute, and soft. What are they?” “Uh, they’re sheep, miss,” he replied. “If I can tell…
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Titanic’s big, but it doesn’t have hyperdrive. Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential. Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water. Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can’t say “Look at the size of that thing!” and really mean it. It would be much scarier to get…
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