Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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1. Their #1 prodict would be microsoft winders. 2. Instead on an hour glass icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle. 3. Ocassionally you’d bring up a winder (window) that was covered in a hefty bag and duct tape. 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of “Ahh-right” “Naw” or “Git” 5. Instead of that annoying “Ta-da” sound you’d get dueling banjos. 6. The recycle bin would be an outhouse. 7. The winders (windows) theme song would go something…
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Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking: Sadie: “That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before an answer I give him.” Yetta: “Vell,…I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment, punctual like a clock. And like such a mench, he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then…
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On the first day of school the teacher announces, “To get to know the class better, I’d like each child to tell us their name, what their father does for a living, spell it, and if he were here what would he give the class?” The first boy says, “Hi, my name is Johhny. My daddy is a baker, B-A-K-E-R and if my father was here he would give the class a muffin.” Next girl says, “Hi, my name is…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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MARY: Hey Mom, these nice boys bet me $10.00 that I would not climb the light pole. MOM: Don’t, they’ll see your panties. THE NEXT DAY MARY: I climbed the light pole & instead of $10 those nice boys gave me $100! MOM: Did they see your panties? MARY: Nope! I didn’t wear any.
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The psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he told them. To the first one, he said, “Your obsession is eating. Why, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.” The second, he said, was obsessed by money. “Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, “Let’s go, Dick.”
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A student sits for an English examination. He solves the first two question. While solving the third question, he starts to remove his clothes. First his shoes, then his socks, then then his shirt and pants. Another student sitting behind him was disturbed by his behaviour. He asked him, “Hey! Why are you removing your clothes?” He replied, “That’s what the third question says.” The other boy asks, “What’s the third question?” He answers, “Answer in brief. “
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A blond says to her boyfriend, ” Sweetie while you’re out I want to repaint our bedroom” The boyfriend replies, “Ok” When he gets home he finds his girlfriend lying in a pile of sweat wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat. He then asks her, “Why are you wearing two jackets?” She replies, “Well on the paint can it said put on two coats for better results.
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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