Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A joy of which I’ll not partake Is eating children’s birthday cake. To “blow out” candles, in a word, Is really patently absurd: Each puff contains sufficient moisture To propagate your av’rage oyster. So, Birthday-Boy and ditto-Daughter, Withhold from me your whiff of water. I do not need some little squirt To atomize on my dessert. Among the things I will not do Is have my cake and drink it, too.
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01. You can name everyone with whom you graduated. 02. You know what 4-H is, and WHY. 03. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. 04. You used to drag “main.” 05. You said the “F” word and your parents knew, within the hour. 06. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t — same goes…
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Little Johnny got his first job as a busboy in a restaurant. After a lady spills her drink, she requested little Johnny to clean up her mess. Little Johnny was too busy avoiding work so he never got to her. The lady then found Little Johnny flirting with a young lady at the corner of the restaurant. Angrily she went and said, “Listen, busboy, I thought I told you to clean my mess up.” Frustrated, Little Johnny said, “Geez, lady,…
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There is this snail and he is feeling thirsty so he goes to the bar and orders himself a drink. “Can I please have a water?” the snail asks. “Sorry, we don’t serve snails hear!” the barman replied. “Just one!” the snail pleaded. “Sorry, no can do!” the barman replied. “And if you ask again I will have to take you away.” “Please!” the snail persisted. The barman took his forefinger and curled it into his thumb and flicked the…
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Ahmed was a high-ranking courtier in King Akbar’s court. However, he had one longstanding wish–to suck the queen’s voluptuous breasts to his mind’s desire. Every time he passed the queen, he would get frustrated. He would spend the entire day thinking of ways of achieving this, but knew King Akbar’s sword would meet his neck if he did so. One day he revealed his desire to Birbal, the King’s trusted advisor, and begged him to do something about it. Birbal,…
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Your mother is so fat, she makes GODZILLA look like a happy meal toy.
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An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” Boy yells back “Roll of chicken wire.” Old man says “What you gonna do with that?” Boy says “Gonna catch some chickens.” Old man yells “You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” Boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening…
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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnnie! What?s your problem?” Johnnie says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the principal’s office and explained Johnnie’s request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation…
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1. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points. 2. Sit in the front and color in your textbook. 3. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”. 4. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder. 5. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of the lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask if he was ever in an episode…
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What follows is the Commencement address that was thought to have been given by: Kurt Vonnegut recently at MIT **************************************** Turns out that he didn’t, but it got back to him, he read it, and said he wished that he had written it. Lenochka **************************************** Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’98: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,…
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