Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…
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A seven-year-old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity. The picture was very good and included Mary, Joseph and, of course, baby Jesus. However, there was a fat man standing in the corner of the stable that just did not seem to fit in. When the child was asked about it, she replied, “Oh, that’s Round John Virgin.”
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A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter, “I think I will have the turtle soup.” The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants pea soup, instead. He calls out to the waiter, “Excuse me, can you hold the turtle and make it pea?”
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One day, a old lady decides to buy a parrot to keep her company. As soon as she brings it home…she sets it up in the corner in a nice cage, sits down, and starts to read a book. Pretty soon she hears…. “What the hell are you reading?” Astounded that her parrot talked like that, she told her parrot… “If I hear that out of you one more time, you will be punished.” A few minutes later, she hears……
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Q: How many tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink ’till the room spins. Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None they can’t get that high. Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to hold the bulb while the world revolves around her. A: Four. One to screw…
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A very elderly couple went to see a lawyer. They were ushered gently into the lawyer’s inner office, and sat across the desk from the attorney who was studying the couple’s papers. He looked up after a moment. “How can I help you today, Mr. and Mrs. Watson?” The woman piped up in a thin, reedy voice. “We’ve come to get your help in filing for a divorce.” “A divorce?” The lawyer was stunned. “If you don’t mind my asking,…
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A man is in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite gets up into the air, it comes crashing down. This goes on for a while when his wife sticks her head out of the front door and yells, “You need more tail!” The father turns to his son and says, “Son, I’ll never understand your mother. I told her yesterday I needed more tail and she told me to go fly…
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What did the woman do when her husband told her that he was gay? She bent over and took it like a man.
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