Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 and goes to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. “It’s the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it.” She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office…
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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
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A farmer has finally decided to let his three daughters start dating. But he tells them he has to meet each boy when they come to pick them up. The first boy arrives, and the farmer is on the porch holding a shotgun. The farmer says, “Who are you?” The boy responds, “Hi, my name is Eddie, I came to pick up Betty. We’re going out to get some spaghetti, is she ready?” The farmer says she is and they…
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A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. A large wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top. She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest. A little boy playing in the sand looked up at her and said, “Lady, if you’re going to drown those puppies, I’ll take the one with the brown nose.”
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Two miliary policemen were chasing a fleeing draftee from the military base. The draftee ran into the courtyard of a convent. He saw a nun seated on a round bench beneath a tree quietly reading a book. He said to her, “Quick Sister, please hide me. I don’t want to be drafted, and the M.P.’s are chasing me!” She lifted up her skirt and said, “Quick! Hide under here.” The two policemen came by and asked if she had seen…
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A cowboy & Indian scout been in the desert for a while. Indian travel on foot & tracked on this mission. Job completed, headed for town. Closer they got, the cowboy thought about how good a cold beer would taste, so he road faster & faster. Tried not to overheat the horse or his Indian companion. When they got to the saloon, the horse was lathered with sweat & heat. No air stirring & worried his horse would die, he…
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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
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There was a family who NEVER cussed or used bad words. One day the mother went to the butcher shop to get something for dinner. The butcher recognized her and greeted her. “Hi Mrs. Jones, have I got something for you! This new imported ham arrived yesterday and boy is this Dam ham delicious!” Mrs. Jones gasped and replied, “Mr. Smith, why I’m shocked at your language!” “No, you don’t understand,” the butcher replied, THAT’S the name of this ham,…
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young, did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” His grandson says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies,…
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Already the mother of two rambunctious boys, a pregnant woman was not looking forward to having a third child to look after. Her husband, however, was thrilled when the doctor announced they were going to have twins this time. He told his wife that she should start thinking of names. “Well, let’s see,” she said. “We already have Adolph and Rudolph. How about Getoff and Stayoff?”
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