Ol boy Jokes - page 18

On Second Thought

A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…

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Bush’s Presidential Theme Song

The Kennebunkport Hillbilly (sung to the tune of ?The Beverly Hillbillies?) Come and listen to my story ’bout a boy named Bush His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush He drank like a fish while he was drivin? all about But that didn’t matter ‘cuz his daddy bailed him out! DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up. Well, the first thing you know little Georgie went to Yale He couldn?t spell his name but they never let…

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Hillbilly Ice Fishing

There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard the fishing was really good up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was nicely frozen over. They went to this bait shop to get the tackle they would need. One of them said, “Oh, and we’re gonna need an ice pick, too.” So they got that and took off. In about two hours, one of…

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Blonde Jokes… A List

How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…

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The Fastest Gunfighter

The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive. Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid sidled up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, “I got a suggestion that’s sure to help.” “Tell me, tell me!” said the newbie. “Tie the bottom…

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Brothers

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine-years-old and the other one is four-years-old. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?” The nine-year-old replies “Nope, not for my mom.” Without thinking, the cashier responded “Well, they must be for your sister then?” The nine-year-old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.” The cashier had now…

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Cultural Differences

There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…

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Learning to Count

There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers. One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill. He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So the uncle asked, “What is three plus four?” The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, “Seven.” The uncle said, “Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because someday when…

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NPR Interview

Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?” GENERAL REINWALD: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.” FEMALE INTERVIEWER: “Shooting! that’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?” GENERAL REINWALD: “I don’t see why,…

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Teaching Him to be a Gentleman

US humorist, illustrator and poet Oliver Herford was traveling on a trolley one day with his young nephew on his lap. The car was so crowded that when an attractive blonde entered, she was obliged to stand. Herford have her an admiring look and said to his nephew, “My boy, why don’t you get up and give the lady your seat?”

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