Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One Sunday an elderly man tells his wife he is going to apply for Social Security. She tells him, “You can’t apply for benefits when you don’t even have a Social Security card!” He simply says, “Watch me.” Monday morning he dresses and off to the Social Security office he goes. When he returns, he says, “Well, I got it!” She asks, “How in the world did you get Social Security?” “I just opened up my shirt and showed them…
(0)
Loading...
Discussion between a father and his 12 year old son: Son: Dad, I have to do a report for school. Can I ask you a question? Father: Sure son, whats the question? Son: What is Politics? Father: Well, let’s take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so lets call me capitalism. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We take care of your needs, so lets call you the people.…
(2)Loading...
Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation problem. “It’s terrible,” she said. “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “I sit in the bathroom for a half hour in the morning and again at night.” “No,” the doctor said. “I mean do you take anything?” “Of course,” she answered. “I take a magazine in with…
(0)Loading...
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to…
(1)Loading...
What’s the difference between a GOOD stewardess and a GREAT stewardess? A GOOD stewardess smiles and says, “Good morning, Captain.” A GREAT stewardess smiles and says, “It’s morning, Captain.”
(0)Loading...
Q.What did the egg say to the boiling water? A. Don’t expect me to get hard in five minutes, I just got laid this morning.
(0)Loading...
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.’ If it’s really him, he’ll answer, ‘Yes, and for mist at noon as well.’” So the spy hunter goes to…
(0)Loading...
A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred. Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from sleep, went to the bathroom and neglected to notice that the seat had been left up. When she sat, she kept going! She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed…
(3)Loading...
Two Irishmen Patrick (said Paa-truck) and Michael (said My-cal) decided that they wanted to do something for their environment. So they each bought a pig to keep in their neighbouring back yards; the pigs would eat all the food scraps and provide manure for the garden. After buying the pigs at market both Irishmen were worried that they may get mixed up about whose pig was whose. Patrick say to Michael, “I tell ya wot Michael, I’ll cut the right…
(3)Loading...
It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Fr. John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone. Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily. “I’ve been…
(0)Loading...