Man man Jokes - page 121

What’s the Problem?

A man walked into a therapist’s office looking very depressed. “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.” “What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired. “Well, I’m 35 years old, and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.” “My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and…

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My Wife

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks her what she’s doing and she replies, “I went to the doctor today and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” “Oh yeah?” the husband says, “What did he say about your 50 year old ass?” “Frankly dear, your name didn’t come up in the conversation.”

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eskimo’s snowmobile

Once there was an Eskimo who had a snowmobile. He LOVED his snowmobile and rode it everywhere he went. One day his snowmobile wouldn’t start. He took it to the snowmobile repair shop and told the repairman of his problem. The repairman began to look for the problem. As he was looking at the engine, he said to the Eskimo, “Oh, it looks like you’ve blown a seal.” The Eskimo, wiping his mouth nervously, replied, “Oh, no, that’s just snow…”

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The Monk’s Secret

This guy was in a place where monks live and he heard the monks talking about some secret. When he went to ask what the secret was one monk replied, “I cant tell you, you’re not a monk.” So about a year later the man comes back as a monk and asks, “What’s the secret?” The monk replies, “It’s through that door.” So the man tries to open it but it’s locked, so he gets the key and opens the…

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10 things that piss me off

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy…Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? 2.The Pillsbury Dough Boy is way too happy…considering that he doesn’t have a dick!! 3.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the damn tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change it…

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The Other Side

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the seance, she called out, “John, John, this is Martha. Do…

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Football Humor

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade…

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Baby Train

A man, visiting a small town located by a railway track, was amazed at the high birth rate there. “A train goes past the town at 4:30 a.m.,” a local barber explained. “What’s that got to do with it?” asked the man. “Well, at that time, it’s too early to get up, but too late to go back to sleep.”

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A Force of Habit

A woman goes into a discount store and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she has bought the day before because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she has bought it on special. The woman insists she is entitled to a refund. The clerk, not knowing what to do, goes to get the store manager. The manager comes up to the woman and asks if he can…

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Bad Day

A man walks into a bar and orders a Triple Vodka. The bartender says, “you musta had a bad day.” The man says, “yeah, I just found out my younger brother is gay.” The man walks into the bar the next day and orders a Triple Vodka again. The bartender says, “Wow, another bad day.” The man says, “Yeah, I just found out my older brother is gay!” The same man walks into the bar and orders another Triple Vodka.…

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