Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
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Every night just before bedtime, Little Johnny listens to his father reading fairy tales. Having a deep sense of humor, his father usually ad-libs some parts of the fairy tales just for fun. One day, Little Johnny is in class listening to the teacher reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. The teacher reads, “… and the little pig met a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of straw. So the little pig said to the man, ‘Excuse me, mister.…
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A liberal kindergarten teacher taught a class of thirty. On election day, she asked the students to raise their hand if they were Democrats. 29 students raised their hands. She asked the kid with his hand down if he was a Republican. “Yes”, the boy replied. The teacher asked why and the boy said because his parents were. “Well if your parents are total morons, what does that make you?” “A Democrat.”
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A country club didn’t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women’s club and became very active. After about six months, the governing board of the club received a letter from the women’s club complaining about the men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another six months, they received…
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Be on the lookout for the following personalities last seen cruising in these automobiles… A Pyromaniac in a Blazer… A barber in a Seville… A seamstress in a Dart… An insurance adjuster in an Acclaim… A construction worker in a Bobcat… A creature in a black Laguna… A theater manager in a Marquis… An astronomer in an Eclipse… An exterminator in a Beetle… A spiritualist in an Aurora… An orator in a Civic… A country singer in a blue Neon……
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A husband suspects his wife is having an affair. He needs to go on a business trip for several days, so he decides to set a trap for her. He puts a glass of milk under the bed. From the bed strings, he suspends a spoon over the glass of milk. He has it calibrated so that her weight on the bed will not drop the spoon into the milk. But, if there is any more weight than that, the…
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If you receive and e-mail with a subject line of “Armageddon”, delete it immediately without ever reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus the earth has ever seen. It will re-write your hard drive in Braille. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator’s coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and low-fat milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit…
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A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement. “Can you tell me in your own words what happened?” he asked the man. “I’m a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof.” said the little man. “Yes, go on,” said the astounded judge. “Well. I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to…
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We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…
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It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone–“to relax,” I told myself–but I knew it wasn’t true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t mix, but…
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