Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FOR STUDENT ATHLETES Time Limit: 3 WEEKS 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to ____ (a) build a bridge ____ (b) sail the ocean ____ (c) lead an army or ____ (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only…
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50 Ways to Kill Bin Ladin (As sung by “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” with apologies to Paul Simon) The problem is all inside his head it seems to me; The answer is easy if you strike him methodically. We need to get him in our struggle to be free; There must be 50 ways to get Bin Ladin. Bush said ?It?s really not my habit to use nukes. Except now, I?m really pissed off at those Islamic nut-head…
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A lawyer and a stunning blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask…
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Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…
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This celebrity is taking a shower. He has made it known to the public that he is celibate, and is firm on that fact. Even so, he occasionally feels the need to “release some built up tension”, and this is one of these occasions. Just as he is finishing with himself, he sees a photographer, who has captured the whole episode on film. “Hold on a minute” he says. “You can’t do that. You’ll destroy my reputation. I’ll be a…
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A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door.…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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A young college girl is studying in the library for a final exam when she is approached by a very tall and attractive young man. He sits down next to her and interrupts her study every five minutes or so to ask her questions. After about an hour of studying, and being interrupted, the young girl realizes that the young man is an idiot, and decides to go back to her room to study. As she stands up to leave,…
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During a long rain delay, the baseball announcer filled in some time by sharing some baseball trivia with his color man. “Know who hit the most home runs between 1955 and 1975? I’ll tell you — it was none other than Hank Aaron.” “Know who hit the most RBIs between 1955 and 1975? It was also Hank Aaron.” “And who got hit on the chin with the most balls between 1955 and 1975?” “Hank Aaron?,” ventured the color commentator. “Nope,”…
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Three surgeons were at lunch one day having a conversation about what they liked the most about operating. The first surgeon said: “I like operating on accountants because their insides are numbered.” The second surgeon said: “I enjoy operating on librarians because their insides are in alphabetical order.” The third doctor said: “I really love to operate lawyers becasue they are spineless, heartless, gutless, and best of all, their heads and asses are interchangeable.”
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