Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…
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One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The…
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One day, after a near eternity in the Garden Of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me. You have surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well, Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you.” “What’s a woman, Lord?” “This woman will…
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As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet and sad and looking a pit pale, so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?” I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the difference?” He replied, “That means I’m scared with a university education.”
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Grammatical Uses of the Word Fuck Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “FUCK.” It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound can describe Pain, Pleasure, Love and Hate. In language, “FUCK” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck)…
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Things You’d Never Know If It Weren’t For The Movies: Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed. One of a pair of identical twins is evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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This celebrity is taking a shower. He has made it known to the public that he is celibate, and is firm on that fact. Even so, he occasionally feels the need to “release some built up tension”, and this is one of these occasions. Just as he is finishing with himself, he sees a photographer, who has captured the whole episode on film. “Hold on a minute” he says. “You can’t do that. You’ll destroy my reputation. I’ll be a…
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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.” “You can keep the story, old man,” he replies, “but I’ll take…
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Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and…
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