Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers-to-be, are pacing nervously in the Maternity Ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby. “Is it yours?” she asks the Italian. “Certainly not,” he retorts. “Yours?” she asks the Pole, who vigorously denies paternity. “How about you?” she asks the Jew. “Maybe,” he says, glumly. “My wife burns everything.”
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An elderly woman went to Chicago representing her small church delegation at a religious conference. After checking into the hotel, she entered the elevator to go to her room. When she looked up, she noticed that there were two incredibly large black men in the elevator next to another mid-size black man. Being from a small town and having never been to the big city, the woman was terrified. As the elevator door closed and the woman turned around one…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows.…
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they…
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Here is a TRUE story someone found, regarding exams at Cambridge University in the UK: It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued: Proctor: “I beg your pardon?” Student: “Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.” Proctor: “Sorry, no.” Student: “Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.” At…
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A young woman wasn’t feeling well and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician. “I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. He charges five hundred dollars for your initial visit and one hundred dollars for each one after that.” The woman decided to see this doctor and save a little money, too. She walks in and cheerily announced, “I’m back!” Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said,…
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Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. “Sister, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated. “Why, yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money, and what I don’t need, I give to the church.” “That’s wonderful. How much does he send you?” “Oh, $2,000 a week.” “Your son is very…
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A young college girl is studying in the library for a final exam when she is approached by a very tall and attractive young man. He sits down next to her and interrupts her study every five minutes or so to ask her questions. After about an hour of studying, and being interrupted, the young girl realizes that the young man is an idiot, and decides to go back to her room to study. As she stands up to leave,…
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This doesn’t quite qualify as a Darwin Award, but it comes pretty close… PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly — and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like…
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