Dope
The following was seen on a bumper sticker. “You can grow your own dope. Plant a man”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 513
Can’t Get Enough
President Clinton announced that he will be attending the in-state rivalry football game between Clemson & South Carolina. He heard they both “Suck!”
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Sex Life in your Eighties
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, ?Oh oh!? The old geezer asked the doctor what the problem was. ?Well,? said the doc, ?you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you drink in excess? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you have a sex life?? ?Yes, of course I do!? exclaimed the man. ?Well,? explained the doc, ?I?m afraid…
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The idiot
This story took place at a mental hospital. The mentally retarded group of young men gathered around the swimming pool which did not have a drop of water. They pretended swimming with different styles and techniques just like the pool was full of water. The doctor was watching the group and noticed there was one man who did not swim, so he walked up to the patient: Doctor: why are you not swimming? Young man: Haha, you must not be…
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A Condition of Probation
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…
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Special Perks
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day, as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man, casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt, got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she said in a scolding manner, “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t we?” The man replied, “That’s one benefit of owning the company!”
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Little Johnny’s Defense
Wednesday morning, Little Johnny comes into class late. The teacher called him to her desk and said, “Johnny, This is the third time you’ve been tardy this week.” Thinking of a punishment she says, “I want you to make a sentence out of these three words: defense, deduct, and detail.” So at recess Johnny comes back into the room and tells her that he’s done. He recites it to her: “De head of de duck goes over de fence before…
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Lawyers & Genies
A man was walking along the beach when he saw a half buried ornate bottle. He picked it up and after examining it closely, removed the decorative stopper. As expected, a cloud of smoke blew out and a Genie appeared. The Genie informed the man that he was now the Genie’s master and was granted three wishes, but with a rider attached. The Genie proceeded to announce that his previous master was a lawyer and the third wish was for…
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A Passionate Man
At the captain’s table a matronly woman had overimbibed with the liquor that was being dealt out with a lavish hand, and a young officer was detailed to get her back to her stateroom. He placed his arm about her waist, held her elbow firmly with his other hand, and began to march her down the corridor. She said, with a faint hiccup, “You’re passionate.” He said, “Ma’am, I’m just trying to get you to your room.” She repeated, “You’re…
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Who does Monica think she is?
I noticed some interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: – Nobody would know about her if it weren’t for Bill – She sucks – She blows – She’s bloated – She’s the focus of a huge legal battle – She’ll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?
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