Ing Jokes - page 496

broken down car

A blonde goes to her mechanic and says, “My car is not working properly, can you fix it?” The mechanic tinkers with it for a while and says, “All done! Your car is fine.” The blonde asks, “What’s the story?” “Just crap in your carburator.” “Well how often should I do that?”

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokebroken down car

Noah’s Ark

When Noah had his ark built he called all the animals together. When they had assembled he told all the males he would take away their privates. He said he couldn’t have them making love because it would risk them having children. In return he would give all the males a claim ticket and when they got off the would get their valuables back. So every day for the next 40 days, the rabbits were running in to their wives…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNoah’s Ark

Brotherly Love

Two brothers, Tom & Cody, live in the same house with their mom. One day Tom goes on a vacation for 3 days to Florida. The next day Tom calls Cody at home and asks how his cat Morris is doing. Cody replies, “He’s dead.” Tom flies off the handle at Cody and yells at him for an hour. Cody finally gets Tom calmed down and pleads to Tom that it wasn’t his fault. Tom says, “I know that you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBrotherly Love

REASONS TO LIVE WITH A DOG INSTEAD OF A WOMAN

1. Dogs love it when your friends come over. 2. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late. 3. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 4. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 5. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away. 6. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. 7. A dog’s parents never visit. 8. Dogs understand that instincts are better than…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeREASONS TO LIVE WITH A DOG INSTEAD OF A WOMAN

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road????

Chicken Anyone? Why did the chicken cross the road? Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side. Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. Karl Marx: It was an historically inevitability. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhy Did the Chicken Cross the Road????

Chevy Nova Awards

These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in honour of the GM’s fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. “NO VA” means, of course, in Spanish, “it doesn’t go”. 1. The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?” 2. Coors put its slogan, “Turn It…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChevy Nova Awards

The Maid

A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. “But why?” asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn’t want to say, but the wife was…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Maid

An Angry Biker

“My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis,” mumbles an angry biker to one of his buddies. “Hey man,” says the friend, “people don’t die of syphilis anymore.” The angry biker replies, “They do when they give it to me!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAn Angry Biker

Christmas Gifts

Just after classes resumed from Christmas break, a young girl was telling her teacher what he had received from Santa. “Me got a Barbie from Santa,” said the little girl. “I got a Barbie from Santa,” corrected the teacher. “Me, too!” replied the child.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChristmas Gifts