Ing Jokes - page 499

Later, Johnny

Little Johnny went home early from school and started calling his mother and got no answer. He finally went upstairs and saw the bedroom door open a crack. When he peeked in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid, so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some groceries, he said, “Mommy, Mommy, guess what I saw? I saw Daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLater, Johnny

Father Murphy’s Cat

One day Father Murphy couldn’t find his cat. Once he did, he found it in a tree. The tree was too high for him to climb so he tied a rope to the branch and the other end to his truck. He began to pull the branch down and was almost done when the rope broke. The cat went soaring through the air. He went all through the neighborhood to see if anyone saw it but no one did. A…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFather Murphy’s Cat

Genuine Concern

After the successful D-Day invasion of France during World War II, General Dwight Eisenhower, the Allied Supreme Commander overseeing the invasion was inspecting a British section of the Allied Lines when German planes came over and strafed them. The party dived for cover. As soon as it was safe to emerge a senior British officer hurried across to see if Eisenhower was all right. Finding him unharmed, he expressed his relief in fervent terms. Ike thanked him for his solicitude.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGenuine Concern

Questions never to ask

One day a little boy by the name Timothy who was about 6 years old went to his mom and asked her, “How old are you?” The mom said, “There are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older.” Then the boy asked his mom, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” The mom replied, “Like I said, there are some things you should never ask a woman…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeQuestions never to ask

Who is that?

My friend’s husband, an air-traffic controller, had a pilot ask if he could veer off course, on his way into land. The request wasn’t all that unusual, as many air crews want to check out the local scenery. My friend’s husband gave his permission, but became somewhat curious, when he realized that the area the aircraft was flying over, had little scenic interest. “By the way,” the air-traffic controller asked, “what is it that you are looking at?” The pilot…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWho is that?

More Redneck Etiquette

When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMore Redneck Etiquette

100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

(6)Loading...

Read Joke100 Blonde Jokes!

His Taste In Women

George accosted his neighbor and asked, “Hey, Jerry, do you like middle-aged women with thin, wispy mustaches?” “Of course not,” replied Jerry emphatically. “Do you like women who are so fat that they look like they’re pregnant?” “I wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole,” Jerry avowed steadfastly. “How about women with breasts sagging down to their navels?” “Yuck! Absolutely not! They don’t turn me on,” Jerry declared resolutely. “Then tell me this. Why are you screwing around with my…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHis Taste In Women