Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On January 1, 2000, do not open any email, do not go anywhere, do not eat anything , do not wake up, because the world will be infected with a non-life-threatening virus known as the “Holy Shit, the World is Still Here!” virus. It will infect every human being alive who believes their car, refrigerator, microwave, condom dispenser and sphincter muscle are going to shut down due to the terrible Y2K virus. (Although this WILL happen to redneck towns more…
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Did you know that this phrase : “President Clinton of the USA” can be rearranged without dropping a letter or repeating a letter into this : “To copulate he finds interns” Coincidence? You decide!
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Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, “I just know I?ve seen this face before!” “Give it to me”, says the other blonde. She looks in the mirror and says, “Of course, you silly! It?s me!!”
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After receiving a message to call Evan at my bank, I did so. The operator asked me what Evan’s last name was, and I explained that he hadn’t left his surname. When she asked for his department, I said I didn’t know that either. In a rather exasperated tone, she said rather curtly, “Sir, there are 1500 employees in this building!” After a few more brusque comments, I asked her for HER name. “Danielle,” she said. “And your last name?”…
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In the days of horses and carts a couple get hitched. On the ride home after the reception, the fellows horse keeps playing up, every 100 yards or so the horse would come to a dead stop for no apparent reason. The groom jumps from the cart, walks to the horses face, holding one finger up…”That’s ONE!” he yells, and quickly remounts up onto the buggy. The bride shrugs this off, but another hundred yards down the track the horse…
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The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman. Naturally I replied, “Big tits.” He said, “No, I meant for a serious relationship.” So I said, “Oh, seriously big tits.” “No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?” He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing…
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There were these three guys, a White man, a African-American man, and a Portuguese guy. (Here in Hawaii we make fun of Portagees!) They all died in a terrible car crash and went to Heaven. They thought it was great! But there was only one big rule, you could not step on any of the ducks or you’d have to spend the rest of the day with an ugly woman. One day, the African-American and the Portagee were walking around…
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Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…
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A man goes to a pet store looking for a hunting dog. The owner tells him about a very special dog that he has out back. So they go out back and see a nice looking bird-dog. The man is impressed with the dog, but says, “What’s so special about this dog?” The owner answers, “This dog will not only flush out the birds, it will count how many and tell you first.” The man can’t believe it, so he…
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“Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. To make matters worse, I was alone and weaponless . . .” “Goodness! What did you do?” “What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyeballs, but he kept crawling up on me. Then I thought of plunging my arm down his throat, grabbing him by the tail and turning him inside out, but I decided it would be too dangerous. Yet, he kept creeping up on…
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