Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. “The bus driver insulted me!” she fumed. The man sympathized and said, “Why, he’s a public servant and shouldn’t say…
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Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction…. A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient. ********** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting…
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For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
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Things we have in Egypt that the rest of the world doesn’t: 1- McDonald’s home delivery (the rest of the world have to get off their lazy butts and go get it). 2-Mollokhya (for some reason our tasty national green slime has not caught on elsewhere). 3- Relaxed driving regulations (apparently, the rest of the world drives around in straight lines, how bizarre!). 4- No drunk-driving laws (well, no breath-analyzers anyway). 5- Magical economics (250 people in a 40 seater…
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A memo…. Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you…
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1)”They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.” 2) “Whew! Guess I left the top off the correction fluid.” 3) “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.” 4) “Why did you interrrupt me? I almost had our biggest problem solved!” 5)”Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.” 6) “Ah,the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic.” 7)”Amen. Yes, may I help you?”
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On a radio interview I heard a year or two ago, an American and a UK journalist were talking to each other about Thanksgiving. The US guy asked if they celebrated Thanksgiving in the UK. “Yes,” the British guy replied, “but we celebrate it on the 6th of September.” “Why then?” “That’s when the Pilgrims left.”
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Once there was a man who bought a guitar. He went down the street and played it for a dog, and the dog died. He walked further down the street and stopped to play for a cat, and the cat fell over and died. So the man hung up his guitar afraid that if he played it for himself he would die. About a week later he sees an ad in the paper that reads, ‘angry bull, reward for the…
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A very ugly and rude women walks into Walmart with her two children. She scurrilously askes the person at the door why the store is so cold. The clerk response, “I’m sorry mam, corporate sets the temperature by computer. Are these your twins?” “No, the boy is nine and the girl is seven. Why do they look alike?” “No! I just can’t believe you got fucked more than once!”
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A woman carrying a baby got on a bus and after paying the fare, took a seat behind the bus driver. Later on, a drunken man got on the same bus and after paying his fare, took a seat beside the woman carrying a baby. Since they were the only passengers on the bus, the drunk tried to strike up a conversation with the woman who tried her best to ignore him. Then the drunk took one look at the…
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