First teacher Jokes - page 2

Proverbs from the Mouths of Babes

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is is how they answered: It’s always darkest before……… daylight savings times. You can lead a horse to water but …..how? Don’t bite the hand that…..looks dirty. A penny saved is…….not much. Children should be seen and not….. spanked or grounded. There is no fool like…….Aunt Edie. Laugh and…

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3 Little Indians Go To School

When the new school year started, the history teacher was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asked the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knew this. The little boy stood up and proudly threw out his chest. Then he took his fist and hit it on his chest. He said in a…

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For Show and Tell

While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family’s faith to class. At the appropriate time, she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, “I am Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.” The second child said, “I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.” The third child said, “I am Catholic, and this is…

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Final Wishes

3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful…

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Hotel

One day a little girl was sitting in class when her teacher asked her to make a sentence with each word she told her to. The first word was red, so the little girl replied, “I have a red dress.” The teacher said good, your next word is nacho. The little girl replied, “I have a red dress and it’s nacho’s.” The teacher said not quite, but okay, your next word is hotel. The little girl replied, “I have a…

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May I Be Excused?

Bobby was so excited about his first day at school that only a few minutes after the first-grade class had begun, he realized the he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Bobby raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher, Miss Adams, said yes but told Bobby to hurry back. Five minutes later, Bobby returned, looking more desperate than before. “I can’t find it,” he explained. Miss Adams drew a little…

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Name the Animals

The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She…

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This kid needs words

About eight years ago there was a kid named bort. He had no friends and wasn’t very smart. His teacher, along with the principal knew how dumb he really was. Instead of giving him a lot of homework like the rest of the kids, his teacher told him to go home and think of three words to tell his teacher the next day. He went home and watched T.V when he was watching T.V he decided to start his home…

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ABC’s

A boy is sitting in class one morning when his teacher says to the class, “Okay kids, I’m going to say a letter of the alphebet, and you have to tell me a word that begins with that letter.” “A” She says first, looks around at the hands and picks the boy, “Jimmy?” “Ass!” The boy shouts. “Jimmy, one more like that and I won’t pick you. Next, B” She looks around and Jimmy is the only one with his…

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Bushisms, pt 2

“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…

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