First teacher Jokes - page 4

Little Jonnie’s summer

After summer Little Jonnie started back to school in the third grade. The teacher told the class that it was time to talk grown-up and to stop talking baby talk. She then told the class that she wanted them to tell what they did on summer vacation. The first student got up and said that she went to Nana’s house over the summer. The teacher told her to say grandmother’s and not Nana’s because Nana’s was baby talk and she…

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Fuckhauer

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny, tell me your REAL name!”. The kid said “No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask…

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Clinton

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said,” Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”…

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Womb!!!

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day while the teacher had asked the kids whenever she gives a letter from A-Z use a word that starts with that letter then use it in a sentence. The teacher goes ahead with her lesson and Starts out with “A” well Johnny was the first one to raise his hand, but the teacher thinks to herself she had better not, because she knows how Johnny is. So instead she picks Sandra. Sandra…

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Religion Lesson

At the end of the year, a catechist teacher decides to test her kindergarten class by asking them to draw a picture of a story of the Bible. Soon the kids were hard at work. The teacher came to little Charlie’s desk and paused. Charlie had drawn an airplane with three little stick figures visible from the windows. Bewildered, the teacher asked Charlie to explain his picture. Eagerly, he explained, “Well, you see, this is a picture of the Flight…

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Sayings to Live By…..

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…

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Little Johnny’s Mum

A teacher is talking to her class full of infants. “If your mother was a bird, what sort would she be?” she asks the children. The first child says, “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a dove.” “That’s nice,” said the teacher, “why’s that?” “Because she’s beautiful and pure and reminds me of a dove,” says the little boy. “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a stork,” says the second boy. “Oh and why’s that?” says…

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The Occupational Explanation

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…

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The puppy and the little red wagon

It was the first day after Christmas vacation and the teacher was asking the kids, “What did you get for Christmas?” The first kid she asked said “I got a doll and a tape player.” The teacher asked the next boy what he got for Christmas. He answered, “A soccer ball and a t-shirt” The next boy answered, “A puppy and a little red wagon.” The teacher wanted to go to the next kid but the boy started telling a…

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Polysyllabic Words

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. “Jane, Do you know any polysyllabic words?” After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. “Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon……day. Does anyone know another word?” Little Johnny from the back of the room yells, “I do! I do!” Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense…

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