Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1) You might be a redneck if your family reunion is held at a rest area. 2) If your wife says “Billy-Bob, take the carburetor out of the car so I can take a bath,” you might be a redneck. 3) If you think the last three words of the national anthem is “start your engines.” 3) You might be a redneck if your family is half your town’s population! 4) You might be a redneck if you want to…
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“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…
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There was a family who NEVER cussed or used bad words. One day the mother went to the butcher shop to get something for dinner. The butcher recognized her and greeted her. “Hi Mrs. Jones, have I got something for you! This new imported ham arrived yesterday and boy is this Dam ham delicious!” Mrs. Jones gasped and replied, “Mr. Smith, why I’m shocked at your language!” “No, you don’t understand,” the butcher replied, THAT’S the name of this ham,…
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Today’s joke is interactive and requires the use of Microsoft Word 97. 1) Go into Microsoft Word 97. Create a new sheet. 2) On the sheet, type the words “unable to find my Viagra” 3) Highlight the entire line you typed in. 4) Go to your menu bar. 5) Select Tools, Thesaurus. (Sometimes it is Tools, Language, Thesaurus) 6) Look what it says.
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A local radio station, WINO, is running a competition to find contestants who can come up with words that are not found in any English Dictionary yet can still use these words in a sentence that will make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, has many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, my name’s Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word?…
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A man goes over to Japan on a business trip. That night he decides he would like a bit of action so he goes down to the local brothel. Finally he picks a young lass and takes her back to the room, strips off and starts banging away. After about two minutes the young girl starts yelling HIROSHI HIROSHI HIROSHI. The man hears this and thinks to himself, this must be a Japanese word for wonderful or something to that…
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One day this guy with a stuttering problem walked up to the foreman and said, “I wwwouldd lllike a jjob pppllleaase.” The foreman said, “I would really like to son, but with that stuttering problem you have, I can’t. We have a lot of bricks that fall around here and by the time you got the words out, someone would get hurt.” The stutterer said, “Bbbbutt I rrreally nnneed a jjobb.” The foreman said, “Look, if you go home and…
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One day a man walks up to a beautiful woman working in a library. “I’ll bet you three hundred dollars that by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone” The woman is completely shocked and doesn’t know what to say. “I’m completely serious,” he says as he puts an envelope full of money on the counter “by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone. You won’t see me until tomorrow and i will not attack you and slice…
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A grizzled old man was eating in a diner at a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s…
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Go into Word and type in the sentence I’d like to see Bill Gates dead. Highlight the whole sentence. Go into “Tools” and hit the “Thesaurus”… interesting
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