Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…
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What did the nymphomaniac say to her dog that was licking her face? Down boy.
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The Top 16 Signs You’re on a Mafia Hit List 16. Your waiter wails in anguish as he tosses you the menu from the kitchen. 15. Your plan to skim protection money was brilliant, unlike your informercial telling others how to do likewise. 14. AOL calls to tell you your ID has changed to Sammy The Weasel. 13. Breaks seem squishy, accelerator’s kinda stuck, and there’s a half-eaten cannoli in your ashtray. 12. Three days in a row, you’ve thrown…
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I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cooled coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teenage girl came to the window looking frustrated. “I’m having a problem,” she announced. “The ice keeps melting.”
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In old Italy, a young couple had just gotten married and being without much money, they were staying at her Mama’s house. The young husband had arrived home early from the factory one day. He kissed his new wife and asked her to join him upstairs. The bride, being very shy, had never seen her husband naked during the daylight hours. She was nervous, but Mama, who was cooking spaghetti, told her to go up stairs and enjoy! Moments later,…
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An obviously underage boy goes into a bar, climbs up onto a stool, and calls the barmaid. “Can I help you little boy?”, she asks. “I’d like a double shot of Jack Daniel’s,” he replies. She exclaims, “What do you want to do, get me into trouble?” “Sounds good to me,” he answers, “but how ’bout the fucking drink first?”
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At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as before, Noon,” replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. “Whenjoo shay the bar opinsh at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens…
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One day there were 3 amateurs and a pro playing golf. They went up to the first tee, and the pro went first. He hit it right on the green, 300 yards away. Then one of the amateurs went up to the tee and it sliced to the right. He asked the pro, “What causes that?” “LOFT,” he replied. Then the next amateur went up and sliced it to the left. He asked, “What causes that?” And the pro answered,…
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Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t give a damn. They keep telling us to get in touch…
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A man is walking down the beach and sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie merges. She says, “Normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you SOB, I am going to grant only 1.” He thinks a minute and says “OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says “So be it!” and…
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