Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when the bride…
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A student comes to a young professor’s office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels in front of him, looks up into his eyes, pleadingly, and says, “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she whispers in her low, sexy voice, ” … I would do…*ANYTHING*!!!” He returns her gaze. “Anything?” “Yes … Anything!!!” His voice turns into a sexy…
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Actor Michael Wilding was once asked whether actors had any distinguishing features that set them apart from other human beings. “Without a doubt,” he replied. “You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.”
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In a little Italian village, a man and his wife of 50 years are rocking back and forth on their porch. Suddenly, the wife stops, grabs her cane and whacks her husband across his shins as hard as she can. He cries out in pain, his eyes water, tears run down his face and he gasped, “Why did you do that?” The old lady replies, “That’s for 50 years of BAD sex!” He nods his head but says nothing and…
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Mary and Jamie are courtin and Mary says to Jamie “Jamie would ya like to hold me hand?” Jamie says ” Oh, I would how’d you know” “I can tell by the look in yer eye” says Mary They walk a little bit further and Jamie turns to Mary and says ” Mary would you like it if I gave ya a wee kiss?” Jamie “Oh, I would how’d ya know?” Mary ” I can tell by the look in…
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The Smiths had tried for years to have a child, and not having had any luck, they decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”. Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the bell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come…
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One day a smurf walks into a biker bar, jumps onto a stool, then the counter and orders a beer. After downing the beer the smurf looks down to the far end of the bar and sees the biggest biker in the place. He then runs down to the biker, looks him square in the eyes, smiles from ear-to-ear, sticks his face in the biker’s beer and goes “bbbbbbb.” After taking his face out of the biker’s beer he runs…
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A guy was trying to console a friend who’d just found his wife in bed with another man. “Get over it, Buddy,” he said. “It’s NOT the end of the world.” “Yeah, it’s easy for YOU to say,” answered his buddy. “But what if YOU came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?” The fella ponders for a moment, then says, “I’d break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass.”
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A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no,that’s not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie…
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‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE IMPEACHMENT December 17, 1998 ‘Twas The Night Before Impeachment, when all through the House, All the Congress was stirring, even Conyers, the louse. The Articles were hung by the Capitol with care, In hopes that Saint Bubba would be trapped in the lair. The Republicans were nestled, all smug with The Feds, While visions of perjury danced in their heads. And Barr with his rhetoric and Hyde with his trap, Had just settled in for a…
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