Eve Jokes - page 73

My classmate and I come from 2 rival secondary schools. Ever since he knew from what high school I came from, he didn’t stop pestering me about how his school was better than mine. One day, at the Boy’s C.R. with other classmates, I saw him piss and he did not wash his hands. I said, “When I was in high school, we always washed our hands after taking a leak”. Caught red-handed and without any good reason, he said,…

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An African man is in the desert dying of thirst when he happens to come across a bottle. He opens it and out pops a genie. The grateful genie tells him that he will grant the man three wishes. The man immediately replies, “For my first wish, I want water. For my second wish, I want to be white. For my last wish, since I have not seen a woman for quite some time, I wish to see buttocks every…

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RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…

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Two Alabama State troopers were chasing a Camaro going east on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect cross the Georgia line, the first trooper pulled over quickly and stopped. The rookie trooper pulled in behind him and said, “Hey, Sarge, why did you stop? You almost had him.” The Sarge replied, “Stupid, Rookie, he’s in Georgia now. They’re an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never catch him now.”

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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half . . . You’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.…

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Last week I went to a seminar called “Stress and Disease” by Dr. Nicholas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those ‘TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT’ days, try this: On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal…

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1. Knock knock Who’s there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again? :0) 2. Knock knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Quit crying! It’s only me! :0) 3. Mamma, do you love me? Would you never in your whole life forget my name? Why, of course not, dear. Knock knock Who’s there? See, you’ve forgotten my name already! :0)

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1. Home is where you hang your @. 2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach an old mouse new clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. C:\ is the root of all directories. 8. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. 9. Pentium wise, pen…

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