Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ad seen in the The New York Times last week… FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
(0)
Loading...
A guy walks into a bar and sits next to another guy. The bartender asks him if he wants their extra-special drink. The man replies, “What’s so special about it?” The bartender says, “It can make you fly.” “No way! There’s no chance in hell anyone could ever fly,” he stubbornly replies. “I’ll show you. Here, this man next to you will take a drink of this, and will fly off a cliff and come back up unharmed.” “OK, show…
(1)Loading...
Unbelievable, but these are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ————————————————— Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ————————————————— Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your…
(1)Loading...
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the…
(1)Loading...
Suppose Edgar Allen Poe Had Used a Computer… Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and Wasted paper on the floor. Longing for the warmth of bed sheets Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets, Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command, And waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor…
(2)Loading...
1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
(2)Loading...
Pilots flying heavy iron are sometimes known for their lighthearted jibes at pilots of smaller aircraft. One day at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport, an A-340 was in line for departure behind a Fokker F-28, an aircraft that has a tail that splits to act as a large speedbrake. The Airbus captain was heard on the radio, making some comment about the “cute little plane” in front of him and boasting about the brand new jumbo he was flying. In response,…
(0)Loading...
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? As if bills aren’t distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels . . . I write, “Could you throw this away for me? Thank you.” — Andy Rooney
(0)Loading...
Q. What is every blonde’s ambition in life? A. To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
(2)Loading...
A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength born of fury, she dragged him down the stairs to the garage and put his tally-whacker in a vise. She secured it tightly, then removed the handle from the vise. Next, she approached him with a hacksaw. The husband, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! You’re not going to… to… cut it off, are you?!!” The wife, with a gleam of revenge in…
(0)Loading...