Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver quite ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the…
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A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, “What’s the problem officer?” Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60. Wife: Oh, Harry. You…
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A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There sits a long-time resident who looks about 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer, inquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me. I”m old and worn out. You”d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley, would you? I wintered on the Riviera, had a yacht, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.” The new…
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A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he’d been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner the young man realized he couldn’t hold it in one-second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.…
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Hillary wanted to add some color to the White House. She decided to look at tropical birds for reasons known only to her. While shopping for the bird, she visited a local pet store which was known for its collection of tropical birds. As she was viewing the collection, she noted a vast difference in prices. “Why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?” she asked. “Well, ma’am,” the manager told her, “not everyone would want…
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When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, He is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, He is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, That is initiative. When I make a mistake, I’m an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, He’s only human. When I take a…
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It was a beautiful spring day as the mother and her 5 year old daughter strolled, hand-in-hand down the country lane…they picked wild flowers, watched the butterflies, and generally enjoyed their walk together. Soon, they came upon a pasture where a pair a horses were in the process of “mating”…the little girl stopped and pointed…”Mommy, what are those horseys doing?” she asked. Her mother was very embarrased, but she thought quickly… “Well,” she told her young daughter, “The horse on…
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As I boot up my PC, my modem dailing next to me, I ask the Lord, give me a sign…. Will I ever get on-line????? If you’d kindly let me through, I’ll byte no more than I can chew. I’ll surf the waves amid the Net, with my mouse, my loyal pet. And through each window I will see the websites that are offered me. Resisting any chat room’s lure, I’ll download only what is pure. If system errors don’t…
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This guy came home to his wife one evening after working all day and began ordering her around. To his surprise the wife interrupted him by saying that she was tired and had a rough day herself. He looked at her in funny way and began unbuttoning his pants. She just stood there in a curious manner. “Here,” he said, “put these pants on.” “These will never fit me,” she said. “I could get two people in these.” Without hesitation…
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35 Fun Things to do When Driving 1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector…
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