Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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A professor asked a student to remain after class one day. Holding out the young man’s assignment, the professor said, “Did you write this poem all by yourself?” The student said, “Yes, every word of it.” The professor said, “Well, then, I’m delighted to meet you, Mr. Poe. I had heard this rumor that you were long dead!”
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This bloke comes in to a pub in the Northern Territory (Australia) with a four-meter salt-water crocodile on a steel chain. Naturally, the patrons are shit scared and jump up on what ever they can find. The publican comes over and says “Get that thing out of here!” The bloke replies “I can?t, he?s my pet!” The publican says, “Well tie him up outside!” The bloke says, “No way, he?ll get lonely! And besides he safe.” “Safe?” say the publican,…
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The teacher advised the class that they start each day with the pledge of allegiance and instructed them to put their right hand over their hearts and repeat after her. As she starts the recitation, she looks around the room, “I pledge allegiance to the flag . . .” When her eyes fell on Johnny, she found he had his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. “Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your…
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A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and THIS kitchen is delirious. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast and cheap. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they…
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An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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The blond family was the perfect american family –mom, dad, brother, and little sister…and of course they all had blonde hair and blue eyes!! One day little sister found a brunette wig and put it on, she went in the bathroom and put on some of mom’s mascara, and put in some brown contacts… Then she went and found her dad and said. “Daddy, daddy, look I’m a brunette, look dad!!!” Well, dad didn’t even look up from the tv.…
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Farmer goes out to his field one morning only to find all his cows frozen solid. As far as the eye can see are cows, motionless like statues. It had been a cold night but he’d never thought anything like this would happen. The realisation of the situation then dawned on him. With his entire livestock gone how would he make ends meet? How would he feed his wife and kids? How would he pay the mortgage? He sat with…
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Famed Italian tenor, Enrio Caruso, was asked by a group of reporters what he thought of Babe Ruth. Unfailingly polite and amiable, Caruso replied that he didn’t know because unfortunately he had never heard her sing.
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A young couple were making passionate love in the guy’s van (you know, shag carpets, big double mattress in the back…all that) when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out “Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!” The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off and proceeds to whip the girl…
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