Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Upon reaching her 18th birthday, a girl paid her divorced father a visit to receive her gift. After giving his only child the gift, the man handed her a check and told her, “Give this check to your mother. Tell her that this is the last check she will receive from me for child support as you are now 18 years old. Then tell me how that old witch will react to the news.” When the girl handed the check…
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Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Genuine imitation Same difference Government organization Sanitary landfill Living dead Military intelligence New classic “Now, then …” Synthetic natural gas Clearly misunderstood Definite maybe Pretty ugly Working vacation Exact estimate Good Grief and Microsoft Works!
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10. I’d get to see what my paycheck looks like. 9. I’d get to see what my credit cards look like. 8. I’d remember what an erection looks like. 7. Bachelors don’t have Mother-in-laws. 6. I could use my own name at hotels. 5. I wouldn’t have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere. 4. You can see other women better when you don’t have to look out the corner of your eye. 3. When asked his…
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GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS: 1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location. 2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. 3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better…
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John Jones, the head of the company asked his manager to write a detailed employment review describing Bob Smith, one of his programmers. 1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without 3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never 4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always 5. finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended 6. measures to complete his work, sometimes…
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I just heard there’s going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode 1… The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition ———————————————– INT: BESPIN GANTRY – MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.…
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A kindergarden teacher wanted to teach her kids ‘grown up’ words one day. She would ask her kids to describe something and tell them the correct form of the words that were babyish. She asked the first student, “Nicole, what machine moves on railroad tracks?” Nicole answered, “The choo-choo!” The teacher said, “No, you mean the train.” Nicole replied, “The train!” The teacher rewarded her with a gold star. Next the teacher called on Kevin. The teacher asked, “What pet…
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Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…
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A young ventriloquist is touring the South and stops to entertain in a bar in Arkansas. He’s going through his usual “Stupid redneck” jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stands up and says, “I’ve heard just about enough of your smartass hillbilly jokes, we ain’t all stupid here in Arkansas.” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy pipes up, “You stay out of this, mister, I’m talking to the smartass little fella on your…
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An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home. She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the…
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