Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A couple is golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband says, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows – It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.” The wife tees up and promptly shanks it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringes and says, “I told you to watch out for the houses!…
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How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but a lot of his friends to tell him how good he looks doing it.
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THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN His first name was Jesus He was bilingual He was always being harassed by the authorities THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK He called everybody “brother” He liked Gospel He couldn’t get a fair trial THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father’s business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God THREE PROOFS THAT…
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How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help…
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For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the teacher over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The teacher tried everything.…
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Three nuns usually take a shortcut through a narrow alley on their way from the church to the convent. Along the way, they always pass by a house with a porch. On the porch is a bird cage wherein a parrot is perched on a swing. As the nuns pass by, the parrot says, “White, white, black.” When they reach the convent, one nun notices that the three colors enumerated by the parrot match the colors of the nuns’ underpants.…
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A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. “Well, darling,” said her mom, “how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mother,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language… Stuff I’d never heard before… Really terrible 4-letter words… You’ve…
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An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Uh oh!” The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well, said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke? “No,” replied the man. “Do you drink to excess?” “No,” replied the man. “Do you have a sex life?” “As a matter of fact, I do!” “Well, said the doc, “I’m afraid with this…
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One day a little boy returns home from Sunday School. When his mother asks him what he learned he says he learned about Moses. “Well, what did you learn about Moses?” “Well,” said the little boy. “We learned about when he escaped Egypt with all of the Hebrews. And how they were trying to get away but Pharoah was chasing them with his army. But Moses was having trouble getting away so he radioed in for help. Then an airplane…
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Two guys are eating lunch in a leper colony. (Leper – really nasty looking with skin disorders) The guy on the left looks at the guy on his right, barfs, and runs out of the room. The guy on the right is left in bewilderment. He looks around and says “Well damn, I must be getting pretty damn ugly.” The lady sitting across from him looks over and says “Don’t worry, it’s not you at all, it was the guy…
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