Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I have found the following things about dogs: They are territorial: “If it smells like me, it’s mine!” “If it even looks like mine–it’s mine!” They are possessive: “If I put it in my mouth, it’s mine!” “If I tear it into a million tiny pieces, all million pieces are mine!” They have no concept of privacy: they will urinate right in front of you without embarrassment. They will urinate in the great outdoors without shame. They will eat anything.…
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Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…
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~~~~ My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid…
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Every night just before bedtime, Little Johnny listens to his father reading fairy tales. Having a deep sense of humor, his father usually ad-libs some parts of the fairy tales just for fun. One day, Little Johnny is in class listening to the teacher reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. The teacher reads, “… and the little pig met a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of straw. So the little pig said to the man, ‘Excuse me, mister.…
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A man thinking his dog was dead takes him to the vet. The vet takes the dog and runs a series of tests on him. For the last test he takes a cat out from a cage and lets the cat run up and down on the dog’s back. The vet then tells the man that the dog is indeed dead. The vet then charges the man $120. A $120 dollars! Why!!! $20 for the office call. $100 for the…
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There is this cop who is running low on his quota for the month and decides to check out one of the rowdier bars in town to catch some drunks. So, he’s waiting outside when about closing time this guy walks out, staggering, and falls down on the sidewalk. The cop is thinking, “boy, he’s drunk, this will be a good arrest.” The drunk guy crawls to his car, fiddles with his keys for about 30 minutes until he finds…
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There was this construction worker on the 7th floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself. He tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get one for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eye (meaning “I”) then pointed…
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Elderly Harry was in the hospital. Every time this young nurse came in, she talked to him like a little child. She would say, in a very patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning??!!!” Well, this a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray and put it on his stand. He had been given a Urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple, and you know what Harry did with…
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Two little boys were in the hospital. The first kid leaned over and asked, “What are you in here for?” The second kid said, “I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid said, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jell-o and ice cream. It’s a piece of cake!” The second kid…
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Church was full one Sunday morning and the preacher was giving a powerful sermon about Heaven and Hell. All of a sudden, the front door opens and in walks Satan. All of the congregation runs out the front door screaming “It’s Satan, it’s Satan!” That is, all except one old man in the “amen” pew. Satan goes up to him and says, “Don’t you know who I am?” The old man says, “Yea, you’re Satan.” Satan says, “Aren’t you scared…
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